Sony Unlocks 7th Processing Core, Accidentally Releasing Failed Games From Past 2 Years
December 1, 2015 5:33 am
It was like an early Christmas present for many developers. Sony unlocked the 7th processing core for their popular Playstation 4 system, and the developers went crazy. But there were consequences that nobody could have foreseen.
“I was just over the moon,” Shaun Dunderman told us. “I was really looking forward to hacking away at this new game I’ve had in my head for years.”
But what Shaun didn’t expect was the almost mystical side-effects of that change.
“When I looked at my unlocked system, after it had restarted, it was like the thing was possessed. It connected to PSN, went to a hidden section of the store and downloaded these obscure titles. I had never heard of any of them,” Shaun said.
Those titles included side-projects by unknown developers. A few of the more common games included:
A game where you race ice cream trucks through subdivisions at 5mph, selling treats to kids. All to a soundtrack of one, single, (but very famous) song.
In this title, you hold your controller with both hands and jump up and down. It’s akin to games like Dance Dance Revolution, but without any variance at all.
At the height of Guitar Hero’s popularity, many suspected a guitar maintenance game was obvious. But this game proved that someone was, in fact, working on a game just like that. Players would race to add and tune strings on the guitar controllers while famous musicians on the screen yell at you.
“When I saw ‘Termite Commander’ downloading, I just pulled the plug on my router,” another developer told us. “It just wasn’t worth the risk of bringing an infestation into my system.”
Some have even pointed to this as the work of the Illuminati, but we think that may be a bit far-fetched.
Though we haven’t reached out to Sony, they have not contacted us about these incidents either. But if they should, we’ll keep you up to date.